Yesterday morning, my wife told me about her condition after reading a blog set up by her family members. I've been getting the news from my wife because she has been the one reading it. For some reason, I told myself I must give her a visit this time. I have just visit another family who has a new born at the same hospital two days ago, and have been to the hospital two other occasions for my own medical reasons. There is really no excuse.
After checking with my friend, not knowing what else to say, we just went to the her ward in the early evening. I must said I am quite shock to see her in her condition, since the last photos I saw of her were still quite alright. I had planned to talk to her to cheer her up, but the only thing I could do when I saw her is to hide my sorrow, and show her a happy face, as if everything is going to be fine. We came home after she insisted that we leave. I didn't mind at all if she didn't want anyone to border her, or perhaps she just felt guilty that people spent time to visit her.
Today I felt burdened to visit her again, but can not decide if we should do it again two days in a row. I still felt awful for not visited her sooner. That would be a regret I will carry for a long long time. Before I left home from work, I told my wife I've decided to pay her another visit. Hopefully I can meet my friend personally this time because I have not known what to say to him all these times over the phone.
Before we left for the hospital, we decided to pray together, asking for God's mercy for her, and for us so that we can comfort the family. Our God is a God of mercy and love. He answer our prayer when we ask, and there is no reason we should fear in him.
When we arrived at the hospital, while entering the main entrance, it suddenly occurred to me I should look into the cafeteria we passed by. I never thought of checking it until that moment, and immediately I spotted my friend having dinner with another woman. We immediately went in and met them. The woman turned out to be his wife, but she looks so frail. I am sure she must be very fatigue with all that's going on.
When we sat down in front of them, we were told the doctor has informed them to start preparing for worse, and should even make preparation for the funeral. I thought my emotion has been pretty calm but I could not hold it any more at that time.
It was God who has prepare the moment for me and my wife to learn about the news. I would not know how it would be if we we to go to the ward straight and met all the family members there. It would have been awkward. Most importantly, I was able to pray for them, holding hands. I had not pray a prayer where I felt the Holy Spirit's leading as this was.
I wish all of them well. I will live with many regrets which I hope I can share somedays with them, or someone else.
For fifteen years I have been friends with your family, you have been like a mother figure to me. I wish you well. I ask God to take you to Him in peace, and so that you can be with your husband who has been waiting for you. You have left behind a legacy your family will carry on. Thank you for your care, and forgive me for being so distant in the past few years, especially when you were enduring all the pains.